I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
-- Isaac Asimov
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry
Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly.
--Amborse Bierce The Devil's dictionary
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
-- Ambrose Bierce
He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
-- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
-- Clarence Darrow
When you're dead, you're dead. That's it.
-- Marlene Dietrich
Because I could not stop for death, He kindly stopped for me; The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality.
-- Emily Dickinson
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus
It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls.
-- Epicurus
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
-- Euripides
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Department of Public Aid
The goal of all life is death.
-- Sigmund Freud
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying
For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?
-- Kahlil Gibran
I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!
-- Patrick Henry
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
-- Bill Maher
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
-- William Somerset Maugham
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
-- H. H. Munro (Saki)
We were born to die and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.
-- Russell M. Nelson, LDS Church News, April 1992 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion
How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
-- Revelations 6:8
There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana
I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
-- Wil Shriner
Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
-- J.R.R Tolkien
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-- Mark Twain
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
-- Mark Twain
Let us endeavour so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
--Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-- Oscar Wilde
Death is nature's way of saying, Your table's ready.
-- Robin Williams
I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
-- Steven Wright
Our birth is nothing but our death begun.
-- Edward Young
It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata

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